I asked the question about good and bad mentors on Twitter. In 140 characters, I realize it is sometimes difficult to shape your thoughts. But one person did–Abe Awasthi, a CPA in Irvine, CA  (http://twitter.com/contactabe). Abe’s comment was “The best mentors lead by example, are motivating, and actually care. The worst ones are mentors only because it’s company policy.”

That’s the trick when it comes to mentoring—how invested are you in the person you mentor and vice versa? In the past month, I have coached several former employees and they will always get my time and attention because I’m invested in them.

I have seen corporate initiatives on mentoring, assigned mentors and mentees and handy little packets of information that outline the process. Mentoring shouldn’t have to be mandated, assigned or called an initiative. Any executive worth his or her salt should be invested in the people around them—even if they aren’t direct reports. Companies succeed when they have the right talent in the right role—and the opportunity for advancement and personal development are strong retention elements.

Mentoring fails for other reasons besides corporate obligation. The program–or execution of the program–is often too superficial. Here are some things to consider:

• Understand their aspirations. At the end of the day, your job is help guide someone based on their capabilities and their aspirations. And it is also your job to gently redirect when those two don’t match…
• Learn all you can about the person. Don’t go with the top-level assessment of “these are my strengths and weaknesses”.
• Help them learn, so don’t tell or show. Learning comes best when you give someone the chance to do something. Plan a meeting. Lead a meeting. Lead a project. Conduct analysis. Write a report. Give a presentation…and your ability to assess their true development opportunities will come from observation.
• Look beyond the hard skills and evaluate the soft skills–including levels of the Emotional Quotient (EQ). I’ve seen some bright people fail time and again because they lack an EQ. Thus they struggle to communicate, connect, lead, and get results.
• Present a realistic picture of the job. Talk about the stuff that’s not in the job description. The stuff that keeps you up at night, forces you to take 2 ibuprofen in the middle of the day, forces you to the gym instead of eating lunch, causes you to miss dinner at home, or drink that sixth cup of coffee by 11 a.m. Talk about the things you look forward to as well.
• Help them understand business fundamentals: analytics, strategy, business justifications, finance, legal issues, leadership, management, reporting, business proposals, projections, planning, communication, etc.
• Help them understand how “business works” at your company: the nuances of decision makers (how they make decisions, how they synthesize information, etc.), rules of engagement, political savvy, individual motivation, effectively navigating the company as an informal leader, building “your case”, suggesting alternative ideas, building an effective network, leverage the hidden pockets of knowledge, skills or influence, etc.
• Guide them to their areas of strength and potential. This may be a different functional area or even a more advanced role in the company. Not everyone’s aspirations match their capabilities. A good mentor helps them see their unrealized potential and push them to new levels.

As my Twitter friend Abe said, the best mentors are not company mandated. Without a doubt, company mentor programs have a role but if mentoring was an inherent responsibility, you wouldn’t need the pamphlet. In my opinion, mentoring is a critical element of talent management—getting the best (through hiring and professional development) and keeping the best. Mentoring gives you a first hand view of someone’s potential, or lack thereof. We’ve seen enough examples to know that great companies can fail if they don’t have the right talent in place. Do you?

On a side note, I’m a big fan of GEN Y but they do need mentoring. The truly astute will recognize and value it—at least based on my experience. It may not be an overnight realization but they will get it.  I think this generation has great potential and in some instances, a generational skill set that the rest of us need to acquire. However, long-term success is not limited to the hard skills, their soft skills need to develop as well.  I think we owe it to them to make sure they are equipped for the future (which needs a little more work than anticipated…thanks to their predecessors).

Informal leaders are often the best people to influence change or suggest new ideas, simply because they are peers. When organizational change comes about, particularly if met with resistance, a peer is most likely to help gain meaningful adoption. The ideas and suggestions come from place of understanding, without ulterior motives or personal interest. They are seen as credible, helpful and empathetic. While these traits may apply to you, it’s a natural preference to be influenced, not told what you have to do and a respected peer is able to provide positive reinforcement.

Informal leaders don’t need prompting, so let them lead on their own.  However, they don’t often know their role, or their potential, and this is where you can coach. You’re not coaching them to parrot or agree with everything you say. You’re coaching them to become formal leaders.

I’ve seen great informal leaders reinforce messaging, challenge group or individual thinking (including my own), offer creative solutions or bring new ideas to the table. What you witness is a leader in the making.  If a person is worthy of your time and mentorship, you can trust them to make sound decisions when you’re not there.

To debunk the myth that late GenX/BB are not participating, I was very excited to read Chris O’Brien’s article on MercuryNews.com Older Generations Adopting New Technologies because it validates what I see. The professionals I know are participating. I am a member of a local Sales and Marketing group whose objectives include learning and applying social media to our respective careers. The idea generation is significant; the light bulb isn’t just flickering with the occasional AHA! moment, it is a steady state of light and vision. We see ways to market, manage and monetize.

There have been enough studies about the differences in generations and their work habits. In particular, most Gen Y that I have worked with or managed, are hard working and responsible. Finesse, politics and filtering are coachable issues; raw talent and desire are not. Social media and new technologies can be the means to develop commonality, increase mutual respect and interest.

Allow for cross training, younger employees can become the teachers in this media and older workers will benefit from the learning. Equally important, younger workers will get the chance to lead. With the benefit of experience and leadership, older workers can share new ways to apply the technology to business. GenX/BB have the benefit of been there, done that and most will see the potential of the media they learn.

Social media creates communities, allows for collaboration, real time messaging, brainstorming, best practices, and problem resolution through collective input. For companies, it allows for employee engagement. If you have the resources, create your own internal social medium or find the right public medium that is best for your business needs, but allows for levels of privacy, etc.

In and of itself, social media will provide commonality. It will also provide a mechanism for building trust because of the inherent intimacy of social media.  Through trust, you can collaborate. I may be describing an ideal state, but nonetheless, the potential exists and the ROI for companies will be tangible.

How are you using social media in your business?

For additional reading, here is a great interview with Peter Williams, CEO of Deloitte Digital on social networking and business.

Interview with Peter Williams, CEO of Deloitte Digital